Macabre Song Parody

Greetings, Terrans!

It’s the 20th of October on Sol III, which means that there are only 11 days until Halloween, at least in the parts that celebrate that sort of thing. It’s quite like the Aldebaran Metamorphosis Festival, in that people like to celebrate in costume and go door to door taking candy from strangers. Since there are no barkmoths on Sol III, rather than wearing the cast-off cocoons of the giant caterpillars, they dress as ghosts, goblins, or their favorite Disney princesses or Marvel super heroes. A fun time is had by all.

Even though the winter holiday known as Christmas is still two months away, stores have begun putting out their holiday decor, hoping to frighten customers into spending large quantities of currency in their establishments. It’s a joyous time of year, filled with singing and drinking and eating and other forms of merriment.

It is this strange juxtaposition of holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and all the other seasonal holidays, as well as the latest “Caption This!” photo posted in The Dragon’s Rocketship, that inspired me to write this song parody of the Wassail Song. It goes like this:

Here we go, a-harvesting,
To make more Soylent Green;
Feeding all the peasants,
And keeping our streets clean.
They all want to be fed,
So who cares if it’s our dead?
So chow down, ask no questions,
‘Cause it’s best if you don’t know,
That we just might be eating Uncle Joe.

Try slipping those lyrics in the next time you go caroling!

If you have ever parodied traditional Christmas carols, feel free to share your lyrics in the comments section below!

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